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I will probably get married eventually. Though the idea of being a crazy cat lady would be so awesome. I would not mind that in the least because I love cats. Well pets in general. Okay, I’d probably have a max of two so that wouldn’t work.

Anyways, to the subject at hand. . .

I just don’t want to be stupid when it comes to love. I have enough problems in my life, so I don’t want the love of my life to be just another problem. I want to marry someone who will be mine, just as I will be his. I didn’t like to share my favorite toys when I was younger and I won’t want to share my man either. So I’m a bit- quite a bit- greedy.

It is part of my belief to be with one man if I were to ever be married. That’s all I could handle, I should think. I’m just not ready yet. It’s wayyy too much responsibility. I can barely take care of myself right now, let alone another human being. Same goes for the “reproduction process” and babies. No matter how safe you think you are doing the “reproduction process,” you are never completely safe. Making a baby is what it’s for after all. That’s my opinion.

Now story time.

There was a guy I first met my freshman year of college who hit on me, romanced me, whatever. I was very uncomfortable with it and mentioned my “I’m not ready to date” spill many times, but HE IGNORED IT. He had the gull to say that he “helped me be more sociable.” I didn’t need help. I already had plenty of friends. I’m introverted. I take more time than other people. AHEM.

Anyways, he creeped me out. Majorly. I NEVER hung out with him alone. EVER. But then in my sophomore year, I made a huge mistake. I was working at a coffee shop and was pestering all my friends to come and talk to me because I was bored and it was slow. None of them replied unfortunately. Which is where I made a mistake. I texted the guy and he, of course, came. It was okay at first. We just talked.

Then he said, “We should go to ‘insert fancy place here.’ They have awesome food.” RED ALERT. TERRIBLE. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOURSELF?? is what I thought. I laughed it off and said I was too busy. Then he insisted again. I declined awkwardly once more. Then he said, “Tabitha, I’m asking you out.” Que the-deer-in-headlights look. I had no idea what to do. So I did the next terrible thing. “Well you can ask me as much as you want, I won’t be able to go with you.” AND I COULDN’T FLEE BECAUSE I WAS AT WORK! I laughed it off awkwardly and pretended to clean under the cabinets. He eventually left, and I then avoided him as much as possible.

He did eventually make a hint, IN A GROUP OF FRIENDS, mind you, that he would go out with me and I said he could ask him again. So I started being mean to him. He hates me, I think. He’s called me a nag, so I think that means he hates me.  He doesn’t acknowledge that he asked me a second time… He’s not a bad friend- no, he’s a big baby.

Sorry but it’s true. He’s huge and is constantly whining to my friends about his problems with his girlfriends. Wouldn’t be such a bad thing if he hadn’t already tried to date them. -_- He wanted a mom, not a partner. Maybe he really did like me or maybe he thought I was “easy.” I have wanted to apologize for being mean, but I’m scared he’ll take it as a invitation to ask me out again.

Like I said earlier, THIS is exactly why I am not ready to date. I can help my friends and be an encourager to them in their dating problems, but I, myself, am not ready to date. I’d love it if you would tell me your stories of your problems with dating. Maybe you have had a better time with relationships.

(this song is just how I feel about it. I couldn’t find one that fit it better. at least not the one I wanted to use. 🙂

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