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heh~ Just kidding.

If it were, I’d be the Queen of Clumsy. Or at least a runner up. I could not tell you how many times being clumsy has gotten me into trouble. I didn’t do it! Or rather, I didn’t MEAN to do it!

When I was 12, I think, my family and I were all watching a movie. Doesn’t matter what the movie was, I don’t really remember. We had turned out almost all the lights and left the lava lamp on. It was on a coffee table. I don’t believe it was close to the edge, but when I was through with it… I’m getting ahead of myself.

I can’t remember if I needed to get up to use the bathroom or take something into the kitchen, but I got up and walked past the lava lamp. Nothing extra ordinary, except some how, it grabbed me. I joke you not. That’s what I said, because that’s how it felt in the heat of the moment.

It crashed on to the floor and the room went dark and I yelled “IT GRABBED ME! I DIDN’T DO IT!” (It became a running joke of course. -_-” )

How can an inanimate object grab someone? Of course it was ridiculous. But that’s honestly how I assessed the situation. I didn’t hit it with my elbow or hip or even hand! I wasn’t really wearing anything that could attach to it. It’s cord was not out there for me to trip on. I still don’t know how it really happened. *Shrugs*

Here’s another example:

My Nana and Papa were in town and my father, my two older brothers, and I all went out to eat. I can’t remember if my Mom, two younger brothers, and younger sister were there, they are not apart of the memory. We were given these tall beautiful glasses filled with soda.

The meal was good, but sometime after we had gotten our food, I knocked over the glass. We were able to get it all cleaned up and our waiter retrieve me a new glass. Big mistake. Not even ten minutes had passed and I knocked it over again. No more glass for me. I got a Styrofoam cup with a straw and lid. The only good part is I got to bring it with me. I have a bad habit of not leaving anything left. I don’t like to waste my food.

I have knocked over plenty of restaurant cups in my lifetime. future spouse beware.

Another Example:

When I was younger, I had a thing about chairs. I still have it, but usually, I can keep from doing it.

That thing about chairs was I was always falling out of them. ALWAYS. My parents were driven insane. Was it the chair? Was I bad at sitting? How come I couldn’t stay in them? They decided to think that maybe it was just the chairs.

But then we went to the zoo. The zoo had concrete benches and the moment of truth came. What would be the outcome? Would I fall or would I not?

I fell. My parents finally agreed that it was just me. They still bring it up and laugh whenever I fall out of a chair. ^_^ Which doesn’t happen. (it does.)

Clumsiness has taught me many things. Like when you are clumsy, LAUGH. It’s already awkward, don’t be ashamed to admit it. Of course, I have scared many people that way and am probably thought to be insane, so maybe it’s better to just pretend it didn’t happen.

A good example might be that today my clumsy powers activated and I fell off my bike. I reallly wish I had a video… Anyways:

  • This is what happened: I tried to rub my eyes then I fell and laid on the ground and laughed. There was nothing I could do to stop what just happened and it was pretty funny. I scared a poor girl though. She probably thought I hit my head.
  • This is pretending it didn’t happen: I fall off my bike, still nothing I could do, then gracefully pick myself up and get back on the bike. The poor girl would this time be confused because she would ask me if I was alright and I would say “What do you mean?” She would look confused and say “You fell off your bike.” I would reply “No, I didn’t fall.” She would say “but I saw you?” I would mysteriously say “Did you?” and walk away.

The second would make a great clip for a movie, but I really don’t think I could get away with it. I’d be laughing too hard and I’m definitely not the mysterious type.

I could tell you more stories of me being clumsy, I’ve got jars full. Maybe I’ll start a new section on “It’s Hard Being Clumsy.” 😉 What do you think? Can you relate?