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I have problems with relational commitments. I’m not gonna lie. Being introverted gives me an edge on this, because I’m less likely to let in someone, or people. Short Example: I never considered this one girl, in college, a friend till I realized that she considered me one of hers (she claimed introversion, I claimed she was crazy.) I thought her more of an acquaintance. Oops. The she lived with me for a semester and I realized my point of view was right. She kept isolating me. 😦

Longer Example: There once was a girl in high school, lets call her Ruth. Ruth had a reputation for guys and gossip. She was also a girl who happened to be a friend of mine. I liked hanging out with her. She was nice enough. I wanted to share a secret with her, but I didn’t know if she would hold her tongue. So I made up a crush on a guy in our 5th period class. I told her 5 minutes before class started, we were alone and I whispered.

10 minutes in, few giggles, few eyes.
20 minutes in, lots of giggles, whispering, interest, eyes.
When class ended, the guy I had a pretend crush on, came up to me and gave me knowing/flirting eyes. I rolled mine. I was slightly heartbroken and sad, and didn’t give him the time of day. Leaving him confused.

I think Ruth felt like she had done me this huge favor, but really, she only proved that she didn’t deserve the trust I wanted to give her. I can’t say that I was in the right, but I can say that I’m glad that I didn’t tell her what I really wanted to tell her, because I didn’t want strangers in my business. Only friends.

It’s too bad she didn’t understand the importance of this test. We stayed simple friends after that.

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